Louicat's world

Anyone remember when I spoke about changes a long time ago? If I remember rightly, is was Janet's first meeting? Its not on my blog but I'll quote some bits.

Ok lets look back, this must have been what, 2-3 years ago now? Mark and Linda were officers here, I was just starting my GCSE's, Timothy had never heard of Vivian Endicott Douglas! (thats a girl he is obsessed with for those of u who dont know! - how, I dont know!) This would be before I was made a senior soldier methinks? yeah, must have been. summer school had not yet come to pass. life was quite rosy, yeah, life was good.

It was the summer of 2004 that I was made a senior soldier, I was so happy that I had made that decision, it was also my chance to really make my friends see that my faith was for real, and it was who I was not what I had been moulded into. (I still have rachel's version of my testimony!) And while on the subject of my enrollement, I still haven't seen the video a year on?!

As the year went on things were not quite as fine and dandy, but I was more and more sure of what I had said about changes 'changes happen, there is nothing we can do about them, but we don't have to go through them alone'. Later that year we found out Mark and Linda were moving on, I was gutted (you could even say thats an under-statement) But no matter how much it pained me, I knew that it was all happening for a reason, there were things that God wanted to do here at Rhyl that I didn't understand. I remember it being pentecost around the change over time, I distinctly remember feeling the holy spirit surround me, comforting me, I think that is the most safe and secure i have ever felt in my entire life, in that one moment. There are times I have felt overjoyed and content with life, but this was like a deep peace inside of me.

It was this summer that I would embark on summer school! What a life changing experience! I have many memories that I will treasure for always. I still don't really know what i actually said at the final festival, but I'm pretty sure they were not my words! The other day I was on a forum and one of the topics was 'the nicest compliment you have ever had', that night somebody gave me the nicest compliment I ever had, that person probably doesn't even realise it, but I'll never forget those words, I don't even know why they mean so much to me!

Towards the end of the year I began to lose sight of my faith, I don't know how or why, it just seemed to slip through my fingers, and I couldn't stop it, it was out of my control. Once you start to turn from God its amazing how things can just spiral out of control over time and you are in a position where its so hard to start over! Little things like swearing and having the wrong attitude towards others, once let slip are extremely hard to enforce again!

The biggest change personally for me would be meeting Aled towards the end of the year, my first serious boyfriend, we've been going out for nearly a year now, scary eh! I have learnt a lot about myself from this relationship, and the best thing about it is that even when my faith is at its lowest for some reason this relationship makes me even more determined to have God central in life, its important to me, and so I know that I need God to look after things, this relationship won't let me give up on God, every relationship needs God!

Ha I have rambled but I wanted to put some things inperspective for myself to look back on and then I can move forward. Throughout that year I can see God now, even if I don't want to! I can't deny it one bit! This year is harder for me to look back on and see God but I'm sure he is here, I hope, no, I know! (thats confusing I know) now looking to the future, which probably holds a whole load more of unexpected changes that are either gonna make me happy or tear me apart, but I'm gonna get through whatever it is, there's one aspect of God you just can't ignore and thats the love of others, thats the thing that brought me to faith the first time and I'm sure it's what's gonna get me there again. Amen to that.