Louicat's world

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,"Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says,"Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?"Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says,"Is there something wrong out there doctor?"The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"




In celebration of the complexities of the English language, we bring you the following: Lets face it English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted but if we examine its paradoxes we find:- that Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables why don't humanitarians eat human!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language:- whereby a house can burn up as it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out.
A bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't a race at all)

another:

Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him,"What is wrong with you?"Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.He said,"This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"God replied, "An arm and a leg."Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"The rest is history..